For toddlers, every day is an adventure filled with new discoveries and endless possibilities. The world around them is growing, and their ability to interact with it is changing rapidly. While their newfound self-confidence and sense of independence are exhilarating, they can also be overwhelming. Curiosity is a cornerstone of the toddler years; however, amidst this journey of exploration comes many big emotions and experiences that are hard for their little brains to process.

Imagine this… it’s bedtime. You put your sweet toddler into their crib and your little one immediately screams “No!” and demands you to stay in the room. Sound familiar? 

Anyone who’s ever experienced the ever-exciting yet ever-exhausting world of toddler-dom will know exactly what we’re talking about when we say “Toddler FOMO.” For those of you just beginning the toddlerhood journey or who are in the thick of it, stay calm and read on as we break down the reasoning behind the common phenomenon: the fear of missing out (FOMO) in toddlers and how it affects their sleep.

What is Toddler FOMO?

Toddler FOMO is the fear or anxiety that toddlers experience when they perceive they might be missing out on something exciting or interesting happening around them. These emotions often manifest in “meltdowns” around simple tasks such as going to bed or taking a nap. While FOMO is most commonly associated with adults who fear missing out on social events or experiences, it is equally relevant in the world of toddlers, albeit in a different form.

As parents, it’s sometimes hard for us to comprehend the seemingly irrational reactions of our toddlers. But, once you understand the roots behind Toddler FOMO, their reactions become a little more relatable.

1. Curiosity and Exploration: Toddlers are naturally curious beings who crave new experiences and sensations. Their FOMO may stem from a desire to explore everything they see or hear, regardless of the outcome.
2. Social Interaction: As toddlers develop social awareness, they become more attuned to the activities and interactions of those around them. Missing out on playtime with friends or family members can trigger their FOMO.
3. Comfort and Security: Separation anxiety is common among toddlers, especially when they feel separated from their primary caregivers. FOMO may arise as a response to the fear of losing that sense of security.

How FOMO Affects a Toddler’s Sleep

FOMO can significantly impact a toddler’s sleep patterns, making it difficult for them to settle down at bedtime or refusing naps. Here are some ways in which FOMO affects a toddler’s sleep:

1. Resistance at Bedtime: Toddlers experiencing FOMO typically resist going to bed because they don’t want to miss out on any activities or interactions happening around them. Toddlers are learning how their actions cause a reaction from you. 
2. Difficulty Falling Asleep: Even if they go to bed, the fear of missing out can make it hard for toddlers to calm their minds and fall asleep.
3. Nighttime Wakings: Toddlers may wake up more frequently during the night, anxious that they are missing out on something. Remember, it’s normal for kids to wake at night and as they are going through growth spurts and learning new skills, it can affect their sleep for a short time. 
4. Shortened Naps or Outright Won’t Take a Nap: FOMO can cause toddlers to take shorter naps, as they are eager to get back to exploring and playing. Who needs a nap when there are way too many fun things to do? 

Embracing Toddler FOMO and Ensuring Quality Sleep

Toddler FOMO is a natural part of their developmental journey. And just as with any developmental milestone, our ability as parents to embrace and support our children as they grow is paramount to quickly tackling any negative side effects, such as skipping naps. Here are several ways parents and caregivers can support and nurture toddler curiosity while addressing their fears and ensuring quality sleep.

1. Establish Routines:  Consistent daily routines can help alleviate FOMO by providing toddlers with a sense of predictability and security. Ensure meal times, naps, and bedtimes are at the same time every day. Post “getting ready” charts for toddlers to follow when preparing for sleep or in the morning. Plan play times within the same block of time to create a structured environment.
2. Validate Emotions:  Acknowledge and validate your toddler's emotions when they experience FOMO. Offer reassurance and comfort while explaining that it's okay to miss out on certain things sometimes. Help them understand that everyone needs rest to enjoy activities fully.
3. Model Healthy Behavior:  As role models, parents and caregivers can demonstrate healthy ways of coping with FOMO. Show your toddler how to manage disappointment, adapt to changes, and find joy in the present moment. Turn their FOMO into a learning experience by helping them understand the importance of sleep for their growing bodies and how taking a nap or going to bed will give them the energy they need to do even more fun things when they wake up.
4. Encourage Social Interaction:  Foster opportunities for socialization with peers through playdates, group activities, or visits to playgrounds. Positive social interactions can reduce FOMO by allowing toddlers to engage with others and build relationships. It also gets the energy out!
5. Create a Calming Bedtime Routine:  Develop a soothing bedtime routine that signals to your toddler that it’s time to wind down and get to sleep. This can include activities like reading a book, taking a warm bath, or singing lullabies. A calming routine can help ease the transition to sleep as well. 
6. Try Introducing a Lovey:  A favorite blanket, stuffed animal, or another comfort object can provide a sense of security and help your toddler feel more at ease when going to bed. This can be especially helpful in reducing separation anxiety.
7. Limit Stimulating Activities Before Bed: Avoid engaging in highly stimulating activities close to bedtime. While your child may WANT a dance party before bed, it’s up to you as a parent to determine if the activity will cause your child to relax or get hyped up. Encourage quieter, more relaxing activities in the hour leading up to sleep. This helps signal to your toddler that it’s time to wind down and prepare for rest.

While challenging, Toddler FOMO is completely natural and is a child’s way of processing and expressing their big emotions. By understanding the roots of FOMO and implementing nurturing strategies, parents and caregivers can help toddlers embrace the wonder of exploration while addressing their fears in a supportive manner. Ensuring quality sleep despite FOMO can empower toddlers to thrive and grow with confidence in their abilities to explore and discover the joys of life. By establishing routines, validating emotions, modeling healthy behavior, encouraging social interaction, creating a calming bedtime routine, providing comfort objects, and limiting stimulating activities, you can help your toddler overcome FOMO and achieve restful sleep.

When it comes to sleep training, understanding the concept of extinction bursts and what they are can be very helpful to parents seeking to establish healthy sleep habits for their toddlers and children. An extinction burst can be a challenging phase, but recognizing and managing it effectively can lead to long-term success in sleep training. In this blog post, we will define what extinction bursts are, explain their significance, and provide practical tips on how to handle them to ensure your child sleeps all night long (and you too!). While there are different sleep training techniques, this particular method is recommended for sleep training toddlers at least 1 year old. But when you’re a sleepy mama and you’re ready for sleep again, this can be a helpful way to know what to expect. 

What is an Extinction Burst?

An extinction burst is a temporary increase in the intensity, frequency, or duration of crying during sleep training. They typically happen when a child’s crying or protests escalate before they eventually decrease and stop.

Why Do Extinction Bursts Occur?

During sleep training, extinction bursts occur because your child is used to receiving a specific response or reinforcement for a behavior, such as rocking, holding their hand, patting to sleep, etc. To illustrate this example, if a child is accustomed to being rocked to sleep, they may cry louder and more persistently when you decide to stop rocking them to sleep. The child is essentially "testing" to see if their usual behavior will still elicit the same response from you, the parent. While not always an easy thing to listen to, it indicates that your child is learning to adapt to the new sleep training method.

The Role of Extinction Bursts in Sleep Training

Extinction bursts are a natural part of the sleep training process and can actually be a positive sign. They indicate your child is beginning to adjust to the new sleep routine and learning to self-soothe themselves to sleep. While the increase in crying or protests can be distressing for parents, it is important to remain consistent and patient. Here’s how extinction bursts can be useful in sleep training:

1. They’re a sign of progress: An extinction burst often signifies that the child is on the verge of learning to fall asleep independently. Recognizing this as a step forward can help parents stay committed to the sleep training process.
2. Learning a new way of going to sleep: Through extinction bursts, children gradually learn that their previous behavior (crying, protesting) no longer yields the desired outcome (such as being rocked or held to sleep). This adjustment is key to developing self-soothing skills and a well rested mama.
3. A short term situation for long term results: While extinction bursts can be challenging in the short term, they are typically followed by significant improvements in sleep patterns. Expect to hear some form of crying or protest whenever you change the way a child falls asleep or where they fall asleep. You can’t fully explain to a toddler that you’re tired of letting them twirl your hair to get to sleep, right?! 

Managing Extinction Bursts During Sleep Training

Dealing with extinction bursts requires a combination of consistency, patience, and a supportive approach. Here are some practical tips to help you manage this phase effectively:

1. 1. Be Consistent: Consistency is crucial during sleep training. Stick to your chosen method (whichever one you decide to use) and bedtime routine, even when faced with increased crying or protests. Changing your approach in response to an extinction burst can reinforce the unwanted behavior.
2. Create a Sleep Environment: Ensure your child’s sleep environment is calm, serene, and conducive to rest. A cool, dark, and quiet room is the optimal way to sleep. Consider using white noise to drown out background noises of the house that might disrupt sleep. A small dim nightlight if your child has a fear of the dark. 
3. Have and Maintain a Soothing Bedtime Routine: A predictable and calming routine at bedtime can help your child that it’s time to sleep recognize that it’s time for sleep. Activities such as reading a book, taking a warm bath, or singing lullabies can create a relaxing atmosphere that prepares your child for a long night of sleep.
4. Offer Comfort Without Reinforcing: When your child protests or experiences an extinction burst, offer comfort without reinforcing the behavior you are trying to eliminate. For example, if your child is used to being rocked to sleep, talk to your child, providing verbal reassurance, and gentle pats instead of picking them up as they’re expecting you to..
5. Monitor for Safety: Ensure that your child is safe and not in distress. Check on them periodically to confirm they are okay, but keep interactions brief and soothing to avoid reinforcing the crying or protests.
6. Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that extinction bursts are a normal part of the sleep training process and that every child is different. Some children may experience multiple extinction bursts before their sleep patterns improve, while others may adjust more quickly. Usually within 3-5 nights you should see progress. 

Long-Term Benefits of Managing Extinction Bursts

Successfully managing extinction bursts can lead to significant long-term benefits for both parents and children:

• Improved Sleep Quality: By learning to self-soothe themselves to sleep, children can fall asleep independently and stay asleep longer, resulting in better overall sleep quality.
• Increased Parental Confidence: Kids are trying to communicate and when they can’t verbally tell you “Hey Mom, why aren’t you rocking me?!” they will likely cry. Successfully navigating extinction bursts can boost parents’ confidence in their ability to manage sleep training and other behavioral challenges.
• Healthy Sleep Habits: It’s never to late to make a change. Establishing healthy sleep habits early on can contribute to better behavior, mood, and cognitive development in children.

Conclusion

While this phase can be challenging, it is also a positive indication that your child is learning to adapt to new sleep patterns. By staying consistent, maintaining a calming bedtime routine, and offering comfort without reinforcing unwanted behaviors, you can help your child develop independent, healthy sleep habits. Remember, patience and perseverance are key. With the right approach, you and your child can achieve restful nights and enjoy the long-term benefits of a good night's sleep.