Sleep Training for your Toddler

When it comes to sleep training, understanding the concept of extinction bursts and what they are can be very helpful to parents seeking to establish healthy sleep habits for their toddlers and children. An extinction burst can be a challenging phase, but recognizing and managing it effectively can lead to long-term success in sleep training. In this blog post, we will define what extinction bursts are, explain their significance, and provide practical tips on how to handle them to ensure your child sleeps all night long (and you too!). While there are different sleep training techniques, this particular method is recommended for sleep training toddlers at least 1 year old. But when you’re a sleepy mama and you’re ready for sleep again, this can be a helpful way to know what to expect. 

What is an Extinction Burst?

An extinction burst is a temporary increase in the intensity, frequency, or duration of crying during sleep training. They typically happen when a child’s crying or protests escalate before they eventually decrease and stop.

Why Do Extinction Bursts Occur?

During sleep training, extinction bursts occur because your child is used to receiving a specific response or reinforcement for a behavior, such as rocking, holding their hand, patting to sleep, etc. To illustrate this example, if a child is accustomed to being rocked to sleep, they may cry louder and more persistently when you decide to stop rocking them to sleep. The child is essentially "testing" to see if their usual behavior will still elicit the same response from you, the parent. While not always an easy thing to listen to, it indicates that your child is learning to adapt to the new sleep training method.

The Role of Extinction Bursts in Sleep Training

Extinction bursts are a natural part of the sleep training process and can actually be a positive sign. They indicate your child is beginning to adjust to the new sleep routine and learning to self-soothe themselves to sleep. While the increase in crying or protests can be distressing for parents, it is important to remain consistent and patient. Here’s how extinction bursts can be useful in sleep training:

1. They’re a sign of progress: An extinction burst often signifies that the child is on the verge of learning to fall asleep independently. Recognizing this as a step forward can help parents stay committed to the sleep training process.
2. Learning a new way of going to sleep: Through extinction bursts, children gradually learn that their previous behavior (crying, protesting) no longer yields the desired outcome (such as being rocked or held to sleep). This adjustment is key to developing self-soothing skills and a well rested mama.
3. A short term situation for long term results: While extinction bursts can be challenging in the short term, they are typically followed by significant improvements in sleep patterns. Expect to hear some form of crying or protest whenever you change the way a child falls asleep or where they fall asleep. You can’t fully explain to a toddler that you’re tired of letting them twirl your hair to get to sleep, right?! 

Managing Extinction Bursts During Sleep Training

Dealing with extinction bursts requires a combination of consistency, patience, and a supportive approach. Here are some practical tips to help you manage this phase effectively:

1. 1. Be Consistent: Consistency is crucial during sleep training. Stick to your chosen method (whichever one you decide to use) and bedtime routine, even when faced with increased crying or protests. Changing your approach in response to an extinction burst can reinforce the unwanted behavior.
2. Create a Sleep Environment: Ensure your child’s sleep environment is calm, serene, and conducive to rest. A cool, dark, and quiet room is the optimal way to sleep. Consider using white noise to drown out background noises of the house that might disrupt sleep. A small dim nightlight if your child has a fear of the dark. 
3. Have and Maintain a Soothing Bedtime Routine: A predictable and calming routine at bedtime can help your child that it’s time to sleep recognize that it’s time for sleep. Activities such as reading a book, taking a warm bath, or singing lullabies can create a relaxing atmosphere that prepares your child for a long night of sleep.
4. Offer Comfort Without Reinforcing: When your child protests or experiences an extinction burst, offer comfort without reinforcing the behavior you are trying to eliminate. For example, if your child is used to being rocked to sleep, talk to your child, providing verbal reassurance, and gentle pats instead of picking them up as they’re expecting you to..
5. Monitor for Safety: Ensure that your child is safe and not in distress. Check on them periodically to confirm they are okay, but keep interactions brief and soothing to avoid reinforcing the crying or protests.
6. Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that extinction bursts are a normal part of the sleep training process and that every child is different. Some children may experience multiple extinction bursts before their sleep patterns improve, while others may adjust more quickly. Usually within 3-5 nights you should see progress. 

Long-Term Benefits of Managing Extinction Bursts

Successfully managing extinction bursts can lead to significant long-term benefits for both parents and children:

• Improved Sleep Quality: By learning to self-soothe themselves to sleep, children can fall asleep independently and stay asleep longer, resulting in better overall sleep quality.
• Increased Parental Confidence: Kids are trying to communicate and when they can’t verbally tell you “Hey Mom, why aren’t you rocking me?!” they will likely cry. Successfully navigating extinction bursts can boost parents’ confidence in their ability to manage sleep training and other behavioral challenges.
• Healthy Sleep Habits: It’s never to late to make a change. Establishing healthy sleep habits early on can contribute to better behavior, mood, and cognitive development in children.

Conclusion

While this phase can be challenging, it is also a positive indication that your child is learning to adapt to new sleep patterns. By staying consistent, maintaining a calming bedtime routine, and offering comfort without reinforcing unwanted behaviors, you can help your child develop independent, healthy sleep habits. Remember, patience and perseverance are key. With the right approach, you and your child can achieve restful nights and enjoy the long-term benefits of a good night's sleep.