Having a child can be a pretty jarring experience. From pregnancy, to labor, to life with a new little human; realizing that you are responsible for another little life is a huge reality check. We make sacrifices for our children daily out of love and sometimes necessity. But having a child does not mean that mom and/or dad need to forget about their own needs. Parenthood is like a game where you need to find the perfect combo to meet everyone's needs sufficiently, including your own. Sleep is a huge necessity for parents! All humans need sleep to function and a lack of sleep can seriously impact your mood, ability to care for your family, and your overall well being. Having your child sleep in your bed may greatly impact the amount and the quality of sleep you are getting. What do you do when your child wants to sleep in your bed? 

Set a hard boundary.

This can be a tough thing to do but parenting is, quite frankly, not easy. The best thing you can do for yourself and your child if you do not want them sleeping in your bed is to simply not let them. Of course, I know this may result in tantrums and loss of sleep for the family at first. But holding this boundary will show your child that you value good sleep for everyone in the family and you prioritize taking care of yourself (which will teach them to prioritize their own needs in the future!). 

If you’ve decided that you no longer want your child in your bed with you, I suggest having an honest, open mindset. Accept that this transition may be hard for a while but will be worth it in the long run once everyone is sleeping well in their own space. During the day, offer your child lots of snuggles and physical affection so they can still feel close to you. Sleeping in their own bed takes away the feeling of physical closeness they enjoyed when co-sleeping with you. As you transition your child to their own bed, stay with them in their room and comfort them. This will help them to not feel completely abandoned. As time goes on, your child will get used to being in their bed by themselves. You can decide how long to stay in the room. Try making a routine of reading them a story before leaving or set a limit for how long you will be in their room. For the first night it may be necessary to stay until they fall asleep. Figure out what works best for both you and your child, but continue to hold firm to the fact that their bed is where they are expected to sleep. 

If you’re trying to transition your child out of your bed and having difficulty, book a 15 minute discovery call with me and we can troubleshoot together! 

I recently spoke with 2 parents whose biggest sleep struggle was co-sleeping with their 5-year old. These busy working parents were having a discussion with me about the best way to get their child sleeping all night in his own bed when he was currently sleeping in their bed from bedtime to morning. A parent had to lay down with him and they were tied to him all night. They really wanted to know how to get their kid to sleep without laying down with him.
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Dad was happy to recount fond memories of sleeping in his parents bed and how he was happy to continue letting him sleep with them. The look on mom’s face was not so inviting or happy. Both parents worked full time jobs, sometimes working from home, and both were deep into a training plan for an upcoming marathon. Mom was ready to have their bed back to themselves and get a full night of sleep.

While co-sleeping or bedsharing with a child is just one scenario, there are plenty of situations where parents could disagree when it comes to their children. You may disagree on the best way or most comfortable way to sleep train your child or how to handle sleep regressions. Whatever the situation, here are a few tips and considerations to have a meaningful conversation. 

Parents should think of how each parent feels about co-sleeping with their child and consider the other parent’s feelings on it. Have an open mind about seeing the situation from your spouse’s perspective. This will make you more receptive to coming to a decision together. 

Second, consider also the potential impacts to the family, other children, and everyone’s mental health and wellness. Will co-sleeping with one child mean that another child is always alone or doesn’t get as much time with mom/dad? Without having an open mindset and considering how everyone is impacted, it’s difficult to see why your opinions differ. Parent’s need to consider what is best for everyone, including both mom and dad. Thinking about these things may bring a new perspective that can change a parent's mind. 

Third, consider how well everyone is sleeping. Parenting should be a partnership! If everyone who shares the bed is getting plenty of sleep (7-9 hours for adults, 10-12 hours for kids overnight), then ok. Rock on. If one or both parents are complaining about bad sleep, it may be time to reconsider. 

Discerning how much weight each impact on the family holds can show you which opinion should prevail in your decision. Talking through the perspectives mentioned above can help parents get on the same page in moving forward with their child’s sleep habits. 
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Need a third party to help you work through the best decision for your family? Schedule a free call today with us and we’ll help you determine the best way forward. 

In this era of economic uncertainty, many parents searching for sleep training help for their toddlers, babies and children are coming up with creative ways to help pay for all of that support and assistance to get their children sleeping all night. Working with an experienced, knowledgeable pediatric sleep coach can be a big financial commitment.  

Hiring a sleep consultant or sleep trainer can be costly depending on the sleep consultant’s experience and services offered, so make sure you now exactly what you’re getting for your money. 

Since I trained as a sleep consultant 8 years ago, it’s become much more common for parents to seek assistance with sleep training, yet insurance companies haven’t quite caught up and cover it along with other insurance benefits such as lactation consultants and chiropractors. 

One avenue parents have researched is how to get their medical insurance to pay for it. Now it's not guaranteed that insurance will pay for sleep training but it’s possible you can use your flexible spending account (FSA) or health savings account (HSA) to pay for it. I’ve had a few clients come back to tell me they successfully had my services paid for by their insurance.

Get Pre-Approved

First, check with your individual insurance carrier to see if they cover Sleep Services, Newborn Care particularly out of network Sleep Consultants. make sure that you find out exactly what you'll need in order to be paid. Sleep Consultants are considered alternative, out of network therapies, thus requiring parents to pay upfront and be reimbursed by their insurance company. Make sure that you check with your carrier to see if they cover it.

Determine the Required Documents

Your insurance company should be able to tell you exactly what paperwork is required, such as a detailed invoice, dates of service, exactly what services are being utilized or diagnosis code. 

How to Pay for a Sleep Consultant

You may need to pay upfront and be reimbursed, or use your HSA debit card to pay. Either way, you’ll get a detailed receipt that you can send back for reimbursement.

Finding a sleep consultant near you that fits your family both in personality, their services and support can be a big financial decision and families should explore alternative routes.

And if you are not able to get your health insurance to pay for a sleep coach or consultant, there are a few other alternative routes including crowdsourcing, gift certificates and buy now- pay later options as well. If you find a sleep consultant that you really want to work with and feel they believe the service they offer is worth it, look at different ways of paying for it so that you and your child can get to sleep that you need. 

From Southeast to Northwest DC, moms across the city are juggling it all... work, homelife, their children and particularly, their sleep routines. And when their toddlers and babies aren't sleeping, neither are they. The toll sleep deprivation takes on a mother and her family is far reaching... everything from missed deadlines at work and trying to get a baby to nap when the virtual work-from-home meeting is starting, to having little to no time in the evening to spend with a spouse, work on house chores or just a little time alone. 

So if you're dealing with a sleep regression, popping in a binkie/pacifier multiple times per night or trying to decide which sleep training method is right for you, contact us and set up a free introductory call to ask any questions you like. 

Twins! Twice the fun and double the love. With any baby, sleep training can be hard. As a parent of twins, it can seem downright impossible. But sleep training twins can be successful with a few tips to get you started. 

The biggest thing to consider when getting ready to sleep train twins is their adjusted age. Chances are, when your babies were born, they were not full term. This means they have a bit of catching up to do developmentally before they’re ready to form the best sleep habits. If you’re calculating their age based on the day they were born, you may be attempting to sleep train before they are ready. 

A big misconception that I hear often is that sleep training requires letting your baby cry it out. This can make a twin parent cringe! How can you let one baby cry it out with the other one trying to sleep nearby? The cry-it-out method is not the only sleep training method you can use. Look into other methods such as the pick up/put down method or the chair method (which could potentially be used for both twins at once!). In addition, if one baby is sleeping better than the other, consider having them sleep in another room temporarily while you train their sibling. Twins tend to be on the same routine once it’s established, but getting there may take some work. 

Listening to your baby's cues also helps immensely. As new parents, we often feel the need to document everything and feed on a schedule. During the night time, let your babies sleep and only feed them if they wake! This may seem pretty obvious, but if your baby is gaining weight as they should be, get the sleep while you can and let them tell you when they’re ready to eat again. 

Lastly, as a twin parent, celebrate your successes no matter how small! You are working so hard and any steps you make towards better sleep should be recognized. Dropped a night feeding? Hooray! Got both babes to self-soothe? Boom! Give yourself a pat on the back. 

I want to know, have you trained infant twins? What tips and tricks worked for you? 

There are three key aspects to focus on in helping your child develop healthy and effective sleep habits. When working with clients, here is what I focus on first:

1. A Regular Bedtime Routine
Little ones thrive on consistency. They look to us, the parents/caretakers, to guide them in what they should be doing and how/when/where they should be doing it. This is why it is so important to develop routines. Babies and toddlers need consistent routines to orient themselves to where they are in their day and be able to anticipate what is coming next. Creating a regular bedtime routine that begins at (relatively) the same time each night will cue your baby to the fact that it is almost time to sleep. A simple bath, pajamas, a story/song, then off to bed routine can do wonders as long as you repeat the same actions in the same order each night.. Develop your routine based on what works best for you and your child! 

2. Boundaries Around Sleep
If you’ve been around a toddler for more than 5 minutes you’ll know that they love to push boundaries. This is a completely normal developmental milestone, and it’s important for toddlers because they are looking to you to communicate to them what is allowed and what is not. To avoid frustration and confusion, it is important to set clear boundaries for our children, and sleep habits are no exception. Beginning when Baby is young, you can communicate that the expectation at bedtime is for them to sleep in their own bed. Other boundaries you can enforce could be keeping the baby in their room/bed until a certain time each morning (who wants to get up at 5am??) or making sure your toddler is staying in their bed all night. Decide on some healthy boundaries that will serve everyone in your household. 

3. Consistency and Holding Boundaries 
With both of the above tips, consistency is key. As I mentioned before, babies and toddlers look to us to orient themselves within their day and the world at large. Keeping consistent routines and boundaries allows them to know what to expect as well as how to act. This is crucial for them to be able to develop a sense of security and understand the world around them. You’ll begin to notice your toddler taking initiative when you prompt them to begin their bedtime routine. Keep it consistent and everyone will be on the same page!

What does your bedtime routine look like? What healthy boundaries have allowed your child to develop good sleep habits? ​

Bringing a new baby into the house is very likely to impact your older child’s sleep habits in one way or another, and there are two big reasons why;

1. Your toddler will likely hear the newborn’s cries and think they should help.
2. Your toddler’s wondering why he or she is no longer the center of your world and may be a bit jealous to share your attention.

The confusion of the upheaval of a once only kid household and jealousy will likely cause sort of a regression, prompting your toddler to want the ‘only kid’ attention they enjoyed previously, such as…

● Lots of requests for snuggles
● They may want to ‘act like a baby’ again
● Requesting to sleep in your bed or in your room
● Additional stalling, antics and tantrums during the bedtime routine

The biggest reason this can affect sleep is that parents start feeling guilty about the fact that they don’t have enough hands or time to be in two places at once, so they try to compensate by giving in to all those requests, and those requests frequently show up right at bedtime. You’ll likely hear everything from requests for extra stories, staying up later, laying with them, holding hands, etc. 

Parents… I totally understand. Guilt sucks. And when we feel guilty about spending so much extra effort on a new baby, we start to do anything to make sure our kiddos know they haven’t been forgotten, get extra time with us and feel all the love. 

So what’s the harm in a few more books and laying in bed with our kid to give some extra love and attention?  

“Children are as independent as you expect them to be.” ~Maria Montessori 

It’s likely this situation will happen at some point, so here’s what you do:

Keep everything around bedtime exactly as it was before the new sibling arrived; the same bedtime routine with the same limits you had before (ex: reading 2 books), sleeping in their own bed and sleeping there all night. 

Comfort and support, but don’t change the how, where and when. 

If you start changing what’s allowed around bedtime, such as adding a dance party and saying goodnight to every stuffed animal in your child’s room, it’s only going to tell your toddler that boundaries mean nothing and trust me, they’ll take 10 miles if you give an inch. 

Second, try to focus 15-20 minutes during the day where it’s just you and your toddler, one-on-one to do something together. Your kiddo will love the extra time and snuggles. 

Never apologize to yourself or your kid for setting boundaries. If the feeling of “oh no, I have to give everything” guilt starts to set in, remember that your toddler is simply working through some big emotions, which toddlers don’t know how to navigate. You are doing the best you can and holding to your boundaries to have a happy, attached and supported kiddo. You’re an awesome parent…don’t forget that. 

Within a few weeks, your whole family will have had time to adjust to the newest member of the family and you’ll find that new groove. You’ve got this!​

You’re going back to work. You're not sure how baby will adjust once you go back to work. How do I ensure I can still breastfeed? How do you get baby on a schedule? You're doing everything you can to get your baby to sleep but you don't want to have to bounce, rock, wear, feed or drive baby around to get him or her to fall asleep. You want a solid plan to help your child start sleeping through the night and be on a good nap schedule. When your baby sleeps at night, you sleep too! 

​Tired parents are desperate to get their kids to sleep. There’s a whole industry designed to help (for a fee).

​I remember when I reached my breaking point with my son’s sleep. He had faced big changes to his little life over the previous year: an interstate move, a new house, a new preschool, and the arrival of his baby sister. His routines suffered for it, and his bedtime demands had become increasingly baroque and desperate.
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If my husband or I didn’t stay in the room with him until he fell asleep, he would explode with panic. “I’m all alone and I’m only 3 years old!” he wailed through a sheet of tears and mucus. If we left the room, he hurled his body against the door like a moth thumping a porch light.

This particular night, my husband was out of town, leaving me solo with both kids. Hours since I’d gotten him in his jammies, my son was still awake and his protests were threatening to wake the baby. This risk was unacceptable.

I pulled him out of their shared bedroom and into “the big bed” with me. The lights were off but his little overtired body wouldn’t stop twitching and jerking with excitement. As his heels jabbed at my ribs (“I’m just stretching”), I directed my phone’s glow away from his face and fired off a deranged missive via online form. Christine emailed me back the next morning.

“One of the top times that I get emails from tired parents is somewhere between midnight and 2 am,” says Christine Stevens, who owns Sleep Solutions by Christine. Stevens is a certified child and infant sleep consultant, a professional who offers services to families struggling with behavioral childhood sleep problems. She is one of the growing league of such professionals around the globe, a cohort of providers who fill this need for exhausted families.

I received so many questions last week about naps and daycare that it inspired me to do a blog post about it. I got questions such as “How do I talk with my provider?” and “Do I just give them a schedule?” so I wanted to address the most common ones I hear.

Whether it’s with a family member, a daycare class with multiple children, a homebased daycare with different age ranges or with a nanny, ensuring your child’s caregivers provide the same consistency that you give at home will keep your little one sleeping well while you’re away.  Besides, you shouldn’t lose all of the great work you’ve done with your child’s sleep as soon as they leave your arms!

Sleep begets sleep… crappy naps = crappy night sleep, plain and simple. If your child gets good naps during the day, then they’ll sleep better at night.

Let me know if this has ever happened to you…you leave your baby or toddler in the care of someone else while you’re at work, that you absolutely trust, but you spend at least some of your day worrying that your little one is taking good nap(s). Sound familiar?

So what’s the best way to start the conversation about your child’s naps with your daycare provider?

Read on to check out my favorite tips for creating a great sleep relationship with your daycare provider.
 
Tip #1: What is your provider’s policy on naps?
Do all of the children in the class nap at the same time or do the provider(s) put them to bed when they’re tired?  If your provider has a set nap time for all children, such as 12:30pm for children over 12 months of age, then try to stick with the same schedule at home. If your child sleeps well at daycare but not at home, stick with the same naptime schedule and allow your child some quiet time to rest and play quietly with a stuffed animal or book.
If your child is under 12 months of age, talk with your provider about your baby’s current schedule to make sure your baby isn’t awake too long in between naps, naps are evenly spaced throughout the day and is being put to sleep in a similar fashion like you’re doing at home.  Talk with your provider about your nap schedule at home and ask them to put baby down around the same time.

If your provider has a differing opinion about your baby’s nap schedule, see how you can come to a compromise. When all else fails, call me and I’ll mediate!

Tip #2: Where does your child sleep?
Movies or music playing, bright rooms, other kids running around…what’s a baby to do when it’s time to get to sleep?
Take a look at the area where your child will sleep. If baby is under 12 months of age, they should certainly be sleeping in a crib or pack ‘n play, never in a swing, car seat or bouncy seat.  Ask them to put your child to sleep in the darkest part of the room as possible.  If your baby uses a sleep sack or other wearable blanket, have a second just for daycare. Talk with your provider to find out the process they use to put children down for a nap and see how close you can get it to your way of doing things.  And if your child isn’t used to being held and rocked to sleep, suggest that your provider doesn’t either.
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Tip #3: Keep track of naps
When you pick up your child at the end of the day, ask your about how the day went…how were naps, how long did they last and when did they occur?  Bonus points if your provider provides emails or text messages with a log of this information! If your child’s nap was a shorter than normal or skipped a nap, consider putting them to bed a little early (about 30 minutes) that night to catch up on some much needed sleep.
 
Not sure if your baby has the right nap schedule? Send me a note at christine@sleepsolutionsbychristine and we’ll schedule a time to chat through it and find the right nap schedule for your baby or child. 

Anyone have days like this? Tell me if you do!

Your sweet baby has been sleeping all night long and gets up in the morning after a solid night of sleep. You feed her, change her, play with her for a bit, take her for a little walk outside, then rock her and put her gently into her crib for her morning nap.
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And then, 30 minutes later, she wakes up fussy and still tired and, despite your pleading, bargaining, and efforts, just won’t sleep longer.

After trying for what seems like ages to get baby back to sleep, you finally give in, and hope she’ll be more tired when the next nap rolls around. Unfortunately, the next nap seems to be from the same playbook and baby continues to be cranky for the rest of the day.

Sleep, like food, is one of those elements where baby will tell us whether or not they want to cooperate, so there’s no sense trying to force the issue. If they’re not sleeping, just leaving them in their room usually won’t fix things.
Here’s what’s going on, and how to fix it.

Babies, just like the rest of us, sleep in cycles. We start off in a light state of sleep where we’re easily woken up, then gradually fall into a deeper stage where even loud noises or movement might not be able to wake us. This deep sleep, incidentally, is the good stuff we’re looking for. This really great, restful sleep is where our brains and bodies do all of the maintenance work that leaves us feeling refreshed, rested and feeling good when we sleep long enough.

Once we’ve come to the end of the deep-sleep cycle, we slowly start coming back to the light stage again, and typically we wake up for a few seconds and then drift off again, and the whole thing starts again.

In adults, our sleep cycles usually last about an hour and a half. In babies, it can be as little as 30 minutes depending on their age. So baby is waking up after only 30 minutes is completely natural.

“But,” you’re wondering, “Shouldn’t baby be sleeping at least an hour for a nap?” Well, that’s partially true. What’s actually happening is that babies who ‘sleep longer’ are actually connecting their sleep cycles. The only difference between their baby and your baby is…that they’ve learned how to fall back to sleep on their own.

Simple, right? That really is the heart of the issue. Once your baby can fall asleep without help, they’ll start stringing together those sleep cycles like an absolute champ. That’s going to make your baby a whole lot happier and, on the slightly selfish side, leave you with some time to do whatever you like. (Or replace “whatever you like” with a chance to have baby nap without you having to hold her every time she naps and at least be able to get a drink of water with 2 hands and catch up on mommy-related tasks for work or around the house (you get the idea).

So remember back at the start of that scenario, there you were, getting ready to put baby down for her nap, gently rocking her and then transferring her to the crib.

This is the critical point where changes should be made. If you’re rocking your baby to sleep and praying the transfer goes well, you have just made yourself a sleep crutch.  

Sleep crutches are basically anything to you have to do to get your baby to fall asleep. Pacifiers are the most common example, but there are many others, including feeding, rocking, singing, bouncing, snuggling, and car rides.

Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t rock your baby, or sing to her, or read her stories, or love her like crazy. You absolutely should. Oh yes, you should…just not to the point where she falls asleep.

When it comes to bedtime, whatever time of the day that might be, baby should be awake when you put her down in her crib so she puts herself to sleep.

Some other pointers for extending baby’s nap time…

● Keep the bedroom as dark as possible. Install blackout curtains or if you’re in a pinch, use painter’s tape to tape a blanket over the window. It doesn’t have to be pretty; it just has to be functional.

● White noise machines are useful if baby tends to wake up due to the neighbor’s barking dog, the random delivery guy ringing the doorbell, or any other noise that might startle them out of their nap. Just make sure it’s not too close to their ears and not too loud. 50 dB is the recommended limit, which means you should be able to talk over it.
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If you’re running into trouble applying these suggestions, give me a call and set up a free, 15 minute evaluation call. We’ll talk through your situation and I’ll offer any assistance I can. 

Planning to sleep a little longer this Sunday morning?

It’s time to spring the clocks forward for the annual move to daylight savings time. Have no fear! I’ll tell you exactly what to do to adjust your baby or child’s schedule in 3 simple steps. 

1. First, leave your clock alone Saturday night.  Wake up Sunday morning at your usual time, have your coffee, then go around your house and change your clocks that didn’t change automatically. 

2. Gradually move your child’s bedtime and nap times starting Sunday night.
Children who no longer nap: If your child normally goes to bed at 7:00pm, put him/her to bed at 7:30pm on Sunday night.  Do this for 3 nights, then on the 4th night put him to bed at 7:00pm or whatever is normal bedtime for your child.

Toddlers (12 months and older)- Start with naps on Sunday and put your child down for their first nap 30 minutes later than normal on the first night of the time change. If your child usually naps at 9:30am, naptime on Sunday is now 10:00am.  Do the same with the afternoon nap if there normally is one.  For bedtime on Sunday, if your kiddo’s normal bedtime is 7:00pm, you would put him down at 7:30pm.   Do this for 3 nights and then on the 4th night, put him to bed at 7:00pm. Within a week, you’re back to your child’s regular bedtime.

Infants (6-12 months with a predictable bedtime)- If bedtime is normally 7:00pm, move bedtime 15 minutes earlier each night until you reach the normal time.  On Sunday night, you would put baby down at 7:45pm, the second night 7:30pm, and so on.  In four nights you should be back to 7:00pm.   If their bedtime is not predictable (0-6 months old) simply jump to the new time Sunday night.

3. Make sure your child’s room is as dark as possible. Install blackout curtains if you don’t already have them. Your child may wake up too early with the sun rising so early now in the morning and may struggle to fall asleep while it is still light outside.  Even with the extra hours of daylight, your child sleep needs the same amount of sleep. It may take children and babies a bit more time to fall asleep or not seem to be as tired as usual, which is normal.  It usually takes about a week for children and babies to completely adjust to daylight savings time and some children may take up to 3 weeks to adjust.  Be patient and consistent, and your child will be sleeping in no time!
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If you have any questions about how the time change will affect your child or about your child’s sleep, please send me an email at christine@sleepsolutionsbychristine.com

Time to Fall Back and Say Goodbye to Daylight Savings Time

According to the calendar, this weekend we’re supposed to get an extra hour of sleep as daylight savings time ends…tell that to our kids! ​

Sleep Solutions by Christine offers baby sleep coaching services in the following areas:

• Washington DC
• Virginia
• Maryland

If you're looking for solutions to help your baby or child fall asleep and sleep at night. then you've come to the right place.

 If you're confused, frustrated or exhausted. And if you need someone to tell you how to help your child sleep all night. then let's discuss a sleep solution for your family. 
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Have you ever asked yourself these questions? 

• When will my baby or child sleep through the night? 
• How can I get my baby to stop waking up so much at night? 
• How do I stop having to rock/feed/nurse my baby to sleep?
• How can I get my child sleeping in their own crib or bed? 
• I feel like I've tried everything to get my child to sleep, what else can I do?