![]() Twins! Twice the fun and double the love. With any baby, sleep training can be hard. As a parent of twins, it can seem downright impossible. But sleep training twins can be successful with a few tips to get you started. The biggest thing to consider when getting ready to sleep train twins is their adjusted age. Chances are, when your babies were born, they were not full term. This means they have a bit of catching up to do developmentally before they’re ready to form the best sleep habits. If you’re calculating their age based on the day they were born, you may be attempting to sleep train before they are ready. A big misconception that I hear often is that sleep training requires letting your baby cry it out. This can make a twin parent cringe! How can you let one baby cry it out with the other one trying to sleep nearby? The cry-it-out method is not the only sleep training method you can use. Look into other methods such as the pick up/put down method or the chair method (which could potentially be used for both twins at once!). In addition, if one baby is sleeping better than the other, consider having them sleep in another room temporarily while you train their sibling. Twins tend to be on the same routine once it’s established, but getting there may take some work. Listening to your baby's cues also helps immensely. As new parents, we often feel the need to document everything and feed on a schedule. During the night time, let your babies sleep and only feed them if they wake! This may seem pretty obvious, but if your baby is gaining weight as they should be, get the sleep while you can and let them tell you when they’re ready to eat again. Lastly, as a twin parent, celebrate your successes no matter how small! You are working so hard and any steps you make towards better sleep should be recognized. Dropped a night feeding? Hooray! Got both babes to self-soothe? Boom! Give yourself a pat on the back. I want to know, have you trained infant twins? What tips and tricks worked for you? There are three key aspects to focus on in helping your child develop healthy and effective sleep habits. When working with clients, here is what I focus on first:
1. A Regular Bedtime Routine Little ones thrive on consistency. They look to us, the parents/caretakers, to guide them in what they should be doing and how/when/where they should be doing it. This is why it is so important to develop routines. Babies and toddlers need consistent routines to orient themselves to where they are in their day and be able to anticipate what is coming next. Creating a regular bedtime routine that begins at (relatively) the same time each night will cue your baby to the fact that it is almost time to sleep. A simple bath, pajamas, a story/song, then off to bed routine can do wonders as long as you repeat the same actions in the same order each night.. Develop your routine based on what works best for you and your child! 2. Boundaries Around Sleep If you’ve been around a toddler for more than 5 minutes you’ll know that they love to push boundaries. This is a completely normal developmental milestone, and it’s important for toddlers because they are looking to you to communicate to them what is allowed and what is not. To avoid frustration and confusion, it is important to set clear boundaries for our children, and sleep habits are no exception. Beginning when Baby is young, you can communicate that the expectation at bedtime is for them to sleep in their own bed. Other boundaries you can enforce could be keeping the baby in their room/bed until a certain time each morning (who wants to get up at 5am??) or making sure your toddler is staying in their bed all night. Decide on some healthy boundaries that will serve everyone in your household. 3. Consistency and Holding Boundaries With both of the above tips, consistency is key. As I mentioned before, babies and toddlers look to us to orient themselves within their day and the world at large. Keeping consistent routines and boundaries allows them to know what to expect as well as how to act. This is crucial for them to be able to develop a sense of security and understand the world around them. You’ll begin to notice your toddler taking initiative when you prompt them to begin their bedtime routine. Keep it consistent and everyone will be on the same page! What does your bedtime routine look like? What healthy boundaries have allowed your child to develop good sleep habits? I want to take a minute today to unpack a question I get asked a lot as a sleep consultant; when is the best time to sleep train my baby/toddler?
The answer to this question varies for everyone, but it has to be when you’re ready! If your baby or toddler is sleeping well all night, you and your spouse/partner are sleeping 7-8 hours at night and you love your situation, then rock on! If you’ve decided that your situation is no longer working for you, you’re not getting enough sleep, your child is up half the night and everyone is sleep deprived, it might be time to change what you’re doing to improve your child’s sleep. Here are a few guidelines you need to consider before starting any sleep training method. When your child is healthy If your baby or toddler is having a hard time sleeping due to a cold or illness, it’s not a good time to start making changes. We want to give our child the best circumstances to succeed at sleep training, so wait until they are physically feeling their best. This applies to teething babies too or babies who have recently received vaccinations. When you have a plan A big mistake parents make is jumping into sleep training without having a solid plan of how they’re going to do it. Have you decided what method you’re using? Do you know what to do in different situations? What boundaries have you set surrounding sleep training? Are you and your partner on the same page? Make a plan together to make sure you are on the same page and can support one another through this transition. Make sure that you and your partner/spouse are clear in your roles and how you’ll handle things such as getting your little one to fall asleep, night wakeups and naps. When you are ready to commit Babies and children learn through consistency and routine. Make sure you are ready to make changes to your current sleep routine and you can commit to a sleep training plan for at least a few days. If you’re not ready, no sweat! Wait until a time when both you and your partner can fully commit together. Have you experienced failed attempts at sleep training? Did you try sleep training on your own and it didn’t work? What aspect of sleep training doesn’t seem to be working for you? Reflecting on past experiences using these guidelines can set you up for success in your sleep training journey. And if you need any help answering your questions, set up a free call with me to help pinpoint the issue and determine the steps you need to get your kiddo sleeping all night long. Happy sleeping! ![]() Mom guilt can be such a burden, am I right?? Pretty much any decision you need to make as a mom (or dad!) is a decision someone can shame or judge you for. As a mom, a sleep professional and Certified Lactation Counselor, I am a big advocate for doing what is right for your own family and situation. A hot topic in the world of parenting (and especially in sleep training) is breastfeeding. Should you do it? Can you do it? How can you do it successfully? And on and on… To be completely up front…YES YOU CAN! I’ve seen many people tout that breastfed babies are doomed to have terrible sleep due to the on-demand schedule many nursing mamas/babies follow. As you may have gathered about me, the biggest thing I focus on when it comes to getting your baby to sleep is their habits. Recognizing what baby relies on to help them fall asleep gives us a clue as to how their little bodies and brains perceive the process of falling asleep and staying asleep. My biggest advice I give when it comes to breastfeeding is this: Breastfeeding, even if you're an exclusive pumper, is a way to feed your baby. It shouldn't be the way that you use to get your baby or toddler to fall asleep. This, I might add, is the same advice I give to bottle/formula-fed babies. Hear me out here. While nursing can comfort a baby to the point of sleeping, it quickly becomes a crutch for the baby to rely on whenever he/she wakes in the middle of the night. A baby who constantly nurses to sleep will expect to be able to nurse at any hour, forcing you to get up and have a feeding session when you’d rather be asleep. Our goal with sleep training is to teach baby how to fall asleep without props and fall back asleep when the inevitable nighttime waking occurs. So what to do? It’s obviously important to make sure baby goes to bed with a full tummy. No one likes to wake from a peaceful sleep with a growling tummy! When you nurse baby in the evening, keep the lights on, and continue to gently shake or tickle baby’s feet or arms to keep them awake. Ideally, baby will feel full and drowsy after nursing, but still awake. This would be the ideal time to give them a kiss, place them in the crib, and shut the light off to signal bedtime. Simulating this routine allows baby to fall asleep on their own in the same way you do when you turn in for the night. As always, it’s important to do what you think is best for your family. Don’t let the shame or opinions you receive from others guilt you into unhealthy habits! I want you to have the breastfeeding journey that you want and to meet your goals. Sleep shouldn’t have to take a backseat either. Happy sleeping! Bringing a new baby into the house is very likely to impact your older child’s sleep habits in one way or another, and there are two big reasons why;
1. Your toddler will likely hear the newborn’s cries and think they should help. 2. Your toddler’s wondering why he or she is no longer the center of your world and may be a bit jealous to share your attention. The confusion of the upheaval of a once only kid household and jealousy will likely cause sort of a regression, prompting your toddler to want the ‘only kid’ attention they enjoyed previously, such as… ● Lots of requests for snuggles ● They may want to ‘act like a baby’ again ● Requesting to sleep in your bed or in your room ● Additional stalling, antics and tantrums during the bedtime routine The biggest reason this can affect sleep is that parents start feeling guilty about the fact that they don’t have enough hands or time to be in two places at once, so they try to compensate by giving in to all those requests, and those requests frequently show up right at bedtime. You’ll likely hear everything from requests for extra stories, staying up later, laying with them, holding hands, etc. Parents… I totally understand. Guilt sucks. And when we feel guilty about spending so much extra effort on a new baby, we start to do anything to make sure our kiddos know they haven’t been forgotten, get extra time with us and feel all the love. So what’s the harm in a few more books and laying in bed with our kid to give some extra love and attention? “Children are as independent as you expect them to be.” ~Maria Montessori It’s likely this situation will happen at some point, so here’s what you do: Keep everything around bedtime exactly as it was before the new sibling arrived; the same bedtime routine with the same limits you had before (ex: reading 2 books), sleeping in their own bed and sleeping there all night. Comfort and support, but don’t change the how, where and when. If you start changing what’s allowed around bedtime, such as adding a dance party and saying goodnight to every stuffed animal in your child’s room, it’s only going to tell your toddler that boundaries mean nothing and trust me, they’ll take 10 miles if you give an inch. Second, try to focus 15-20 minutes during the day where it’s just you and your toddler, one-on-one to do something together. Your kiddo will love the extra time and snuggles. Never apologize to yourself or your kid for setting boundaries. If the feeling of “oh no, I have to give everything” guilt starts to set in, remember that your toddler is simply working through some big emotions, which toddlers don’t know how to navigate. You are doing the best you can and holding to your boundaries to have a happy, attached and supported kiddo. You’re an awesome parent…don’t forget that. Within a few weeks, your whole family will have had time to adjust to the newest member of the family and you’ll find that new groove. You’ve got this! Now that you’re home…
The chaos of traveling is over. (Sigh) Time to reset! If you traveled over the weekend, I hope you made it back safely and without too much stress. In the third part of my series on Traveling With Kids, this week is all about resetting and recovering from your travels. While you may see a minimal sleep regression when your child returns home, things should get back to normal within a week. If the trip is longer than 1 week, it may take extra time for your child to readjust to being home. I, for one, love getting home from a trip to sleep in my own bed and aim to be back on our normal routine as quickly as possible. To make the transition easier, here are a few tips to handle those first few days after you return from travel: Tip #1: Assume your child, and you, will probably need a little extra sleep for a few days. Travel is hard on all of us and most of the time we’re not getting to bed at our regular bedtime, we’re not always eating the healthiest of foods and we usually have more activity than our normal day. If your child seems extra tired before bedtime, it’s ok to put them to bed a little earlier rather than pushing through to their normal bed time and trying to get an overtired child to sleep. Tip #2: Don’t wait! It’s best to get back to your regular routine as soon as you return. There’s no need to wait a few days to start, because if your child’s sleep is a bit disrupted, waiting more time won’t make it any easier. Tip #3: Expect that your child may have some extra wakeups at night for the first few days. This is normal and your child is just getting used to being home again. When your child wakes in the night, follow your normal pattern to get your child back to sleep. Offer comfort as your child to reassure them to their crib or bed is a great place to sleep. Tip #4: If you bent your child’s sleep rules while you were away, such as co-sleeping or rocking to sleep, don’t worry too much. Here’s the trick: stop as soon as you get home. Yes, it’s that simple. If you co-slept while you were away, your child gets put back into their crib or bed at bedtime the first day you are back home. This works best for toddlers and older children who can tell the difference between sleeping at home and at Grandma’s house. For the first few nights back at home, you may need to provide a little extra support and comfort as your child is falling asleep to re-establish boundaries around sleep. And if all of this seems like a blur and your child wasn’t sleeping well before your trip and things seem even worse now, then I have the plan for you. Contact me today and let's get your child sleeping all night! Time to Fall Back and Say Goodbye to Daylight Savings Time
According to the calendar, this weekend we’re supposed to get an extra hour of sleep as daylight savings time ends…tell that to our kids! Walking through a large store last weekend with my daughter, she asked to go through the Halloween section. I’ll admit I was a bit surprised but also excited that she’s starting to enjoy one of my favorite holidays! We turned down the aisle and she ran right past the candy, the girly costumes, the silly masks… then stopped cold in her tracks in the face of a creepy looking clown thing that you hang up on your front porch to greet trick or treaters. The look on her face said it all… Yikes!
Toddlers are fascinating creatures, aren’t they? Watching them develop into thinking, creative little people is such a fascinating time, and one that parents often wish would last a little longer. Of course, they usually wish that after baby’s grown out of the toddler stage, because along with that creativity and new found intelligence, we usually see a lot of boundary-testing, which can be a frustrating experience.
Is it teething?
Have you ever heard the story of Catherine O'Leary's Cow? Back in 1871, the Chicago Tribune reported that the cause of the great Chicago Fire was a cow, Catherine O’Leary’s cow to be precise, kicking over a lantern in the barn while it was being milked. Unfortunately, the Tribune admitted later on that it had completely fabricated the story, but that didn’t stop people from blaming Catherine and her cow from being widely blamed for one of the greatest disasters in US history. What’s this got to do with teething, you ask? I’m here to make a confession. Yes, I’m a sleep coach but I too have rough nights of sleep.
It doesn’t happen often but I know how you feel. It’s 3am and you’re staring at the clock. You have a few hours before you have to get up for work and you’re worried how you’ll get through the day on so little sleep. You feel like your nights are on repeat…falling asleep but not staying asleep. Or you’re the opposite…you lay in bed and can’t seem to fall asleep no matter what you do. So what can you do to make your nights more restful? Do these 4 things to help you drift off to sleep faster and feel more rested in the morning. A few months ago, I was contacted by a mom of a 1-year old boy from Maryland was keeping his parents
awake all night. She told me that every night; she had to CLIMB into her son’s crib at bedtime to cuddle with him until he fell asleep, then would slowly climb her way out of the crib, hoping he wouldn’t wake up. This had been going on for months and she was exhausted. A few days later, I was contacted her friend, who had a 2 year old little boy, telling me that her son was keeping she and her husband up all night; he wasn’t staying in his crib and the whole family was suffering because of his nighttime crib jumping. She’d heard from her friend about working with me and decided she needed my help as well. Both moms thought they’d tried everything and just wanted to get some sleep. Their goals were the same…they needed sleep and so did their little ones. We started out by talking about the boys’ sleep environment and how inviting their rooms were for sleep. We made sure each room was as dark as possible, using blackout curtains. We made sure each crib was safe and lowered as far to the floor as each would go to prevent falls. We also made sure to use white noise machines to help drown out the noise from the rest of the house. Since each boy had a different situation and amount of sleep needed, each had his own custom sleep plan for the parents to follow. The parents got to choose which method they wanted, based on their parenting style, to help their son sleep through the night and get on a good nap schedule. During each family’s consultation, we talked about things that were going well with their current situation and areas, such as naptimes and length, that needed to be improvement. We talked about bedtime routines, when to put the boys to bed, how to handle getting the boys to sleep and how to handle night wakings. We streamlined each boys’ bedtime routine to around 30 minutes and how to keep bedtimes early (about 7:30/8pm). Finally we made sure each boy was getting a good nap during the day and at the right time to balance out their day so they weren’t tired at bedtime. Within 1 week, much to the surprise of both moms (and the Dads), both boys were putting themselves to sleep, sleeping through the night and were no longer giving their parents nighttime shenanigans. I was there to support them throughout the entire process and I’m happy to report that both boys are still sleeping like angels, months later. If you’re ready to stop the nighttime shenanigans and get your baby or child sleeping through the night, schedule a free call with me today to learn how you can get your child sleeping, just like these moms did. |
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