Bringing a new baby into the house is very likely to impact your older child’s sleep habits in one way or another, and there are two big reasons why;

1. Your toddler will likely hear the newborn’s cries and think they should help.
2. Your toddler’s wondering why he or she is no longer the center of your world and may be a bit jealous to share your attention.

The confusion of the upheaval of a once only kid household and jealousy will likely cause sort of a regression, prompting your toddler to want the ‘only kid’ attention they enjoyed previously, such as…

● Lots of requests for snuggles
● They may want to ‘act like a baby’ again
● Requesting to sleep in your bed or in your room
● Additional stalling, antics and tantrums during the bedtime routine

The biggest reason this can affect sleep is that parents start feeling guilty about the fact that they don’t have enough hands or time to be in two places at once, so they try to compensate by giving in to all those requests, and those requests frequently show up right at bedtime. You’ll likely hear everything from requests for extra stories, staying up later, laying with them, holding hands, etc. 

Parents… I totally understand. Guilt sucks. And when we feel guilty about spending so much extra effort on a new baby, we start to do anything to make sure our kiddos know they haven’t been forgotten, get extra time with us and feel all the love. 

So what’s the harm in a few more books and laying in bed with our kid to give some extra love and attention?  

“Children are as independent as you expect them to be.” ~Maria Montessori 

It’s likely this situation will happen at some point, so here’s what you do:

Keep everything around bedtime exactly as it was before the new sibling arrived; the same bedtime routine with the same limits you had before (ex: reading 2 books), sleeping in their own bed and sleeping there all night. 

Comfort and support, but don’t change the how, where and when. 

If you start changing what’s allowed around bedtime, such as adding a dance party and saying goodnight to every stuffed animal in your child’s room, it’s only going to tell your toddler that boundaries mean nothing and trust me, they’ll take 10 miles if you give an inch. 

Second, try to focus 15-20 minutes during the day where it’s just you and your toddler, one-on-one to do something together. Your kiddo will love the extra time and snuggles. 

Never apologize to yourself or your kid for setting boundaries. If the feeling of “oh no, I have to give everything” guilt starts to set in, remember that your toddler is simply working through some big emotions, which toddlers don’t know how to navigate. You are doing the best you can and holding to your boundaries to have a happy, attached and supported kiddo. You’re an awesome parent…don’t forget that. 

Within a few weeks, your whole family will have had time to adjust to the newest member of the family and you’ll find that new groove. You’ve got this!​

My six-year-old son won’t sleep in his own bed, so we have been letting him sleep with us. How can we work on moving him back to his own room? He has sensory issues and always wants to be near me.
—Jenny

Dear Jenny,
This issue of children with sensory issues not being able to sleep on their own is a common one among children who have sensory differences. Sleeping is one of the physical tasks of self-regulation and when any one or combination of a child’s sensory systems is not working efficiently or effectively, then sleep is likely to be disrupted.
One of the most common ways that sensory differences impact sleep is from what we call tactile/touch processing differences. Some children need more touch input so they can feel where they are in space (their own body awareness is poor) and other children have touch sensitivities (their sense of touch is over-responding). In both cases, having a parent close to them offers the warm, firm, pressure that helps to calm touch sensitivities OR it gives them the added feedback about their own position so they can rest and relax into sleep.

While I was checking out a few recent threads in one of my favorite Facebook groups recently, a question came up that I thought would be interesting, because of course, it asked about sleep, so I started reading the comments.

A mom asked a seemingly straightforward question; “My 14 month old won’t sleep! She’s up half the night and I can’t get her to sleep! What do I do?

What I read in the comments made my jaw hit the floor.

Not just one, but multiple moms in the comments recommended she give her kid melatonin!

I was pretty shocked.  Would you be?

Not only was this some random person with no verifiable medical training telling another exhausted, desperate, sleep deprived mom to give her toddler a pill to get her to sleep, but also no one was asking the real question about why her child wouldn’t sleep.  While a pill might be a quick fix, is it safe to give to your child, and does it fix all of your child’s sleep issues?

Melatonin is a hormone made naturally by our bodies by our brain’s pineal gland.  Sometimes known as the “sleep hormone” and it tells our bodies that it’s time to sleep.  It also helps us to regulate our body temperatures, our immune system and blood pressure. It’s available in a synthetic pill and liquid form and is almost always labeled “all natural”. It’s available over the counter here in the U.S but other countries require a prescription.

When deciding to give your child medication to help with sleep issues, such as a supplement like melatonin, take a few minutes to consider the real cause of your child’s sleep problems and ask yourself a few questions:

1) How does your child normally fall asleep? Do your child need some sort of ‘prop’ such as rocking, being held, riding in a stroller, feeding, a pacifier, swinging, etc in order to fall asleep?  For a baby or child to learn to fall asleep independently, you have to eliminate props and give your child the chance to develop their own way of falling asleep.

2) Does your child have a diagnosed medical condition? While melatonin can be helpful with certain medical issues, it’s best to talk with your child’s doctor before giving your child any medication.

3) Do you know how much to give? Whether it’s a pain reliever or any other medication, ask your child’s pediatrician if you’re not sure how much to give.

4) Do you know the side effects? There’s little science based evidence that says whether it’s good for kids or not. 

“According to Healthline.com, most studies {of the effects of melatonin use] show that melatonin is safe with little to no side effects, but the long-term effects of melatonin supplements in kids are largely unknown, and melatonin supplements are not approved for use in children by the FDA.”

While melatonin can help your child fall asleep, it won’t help your child if they’re procrastinating at bedtime, waking up and crawling into your bed at night or fix your baby’s frequent night wakings.  

So why not get to the heart of the matter if your child isn’t sleeping at night? In many cases, sleep issues in children can be more behaviorally based vs an actual medical issue.  If your child is struggling to get sleep and stay asleep all night, set up a free call with me and let’s discuss your situation.  We’ll work together to pinpoint the reason WHY your child isn’t sleeping at night and we’ll put together a plan that works for your child, tell you EXACTLY how to get them sleeping through the night.  Contact me at christine@sleepsolutionsbychristine.com to set up your free sleep support call. 

Time to Fall Back and Say Goodbye to Daylight Savings Time

According to the calendar, this weekend we’re supposed to get an extra hour of sleep as daylight savings time ends…tell that to our kids! ​