Having a child can be a pretty jarring experience. From pregnancy, to labor, to life with a new little human; realizing that you are responsible for another little life is a huge reality check. We make sacrifices for our children daily out of love and sometimes necessity. But having a child does not mean that mom and/or dad need to forget about their own needs. Parenthood is like a game where you need to find the perfect combo to meet everyone's needs sufficiently, including your own. Sleep is a huge necessity for parents! All humans need sleep to function and a lack of sleep can seriously impact your mood, ability to care for your family, and your overall well being. Having your child sleep in your bed may greatly impact the amount and the quality of sleep you are getting. What do you do when your child wants to sleep in your bed? 

Set a hard boundary.

This can be a tough thing to do but parenting is, quite frankly, not easy. The best thing you can do for yourself and your child if you do not want them sleeping in your bed is to simply not let them. Of course, I know this may result in tantrums and loss of sleep for the family at first. But holding this boundary will show your child that you value good sleep for everyone in the family and you prioritize taking care of yourself (which will teach them to prioritize their own needs in the future!). 

If you’ve decided that you no longer want your child in your bed with you, I suggest having an honest, open mindset. Accept that this transition may be hard for a while but will be worth it in the long run once everyone is sleeping well in their own space. During the day, offer your child lots of snuggles and physical affection so they can still feel close to you. Sleeping in their own bed takes away the feeling of physical closeness they enjoyed when co-sleeping with you. As you transition your child to their own bed, stay with them in their room and comfort them. This will help them to not feel completely abandoned. As time goes on, your child will get used to being in their bed by themselves. You can decide how long to stay in the room. Try making a routine of reading them a story before leaving or set a limit for how long you will be in their room. For the first night it may be necessary to stay until they fall asleep. Figure out what works best for both you and your child, but continue to hold firm to the fact that their bed is where they are expected to sleep. 

If you’re trying to transition your child out of your bed and having difficulty, book a 15 minute discovery call with me and we can troubleshoot together! 

It is very common for children’s sleep to be affected during and after a divorce. During times of transition, getting good sleep will help both you and your child thrive and adjust to a new normal. Here are some tips you (and your ex) can use to prioritize your child’s sleep habits, and subsequently get some sleep for yourselves as well. 

Tip #1: Have a special lovey that travels with your child. 

If your child has a lovey or a special blanket/stuffed animal, it can provide a lot of comfort for them, especially in a new environment. Since your child may have two different bedrooms now, it is imperative that your child has something that can ground them in a new space. A comfort item that they are accustomed to sleeping with will help calm your child and help them feel secure.

Tip #2: Use similar bedtime routines at each house. 

For the sake of your child, it is a good idea to keep their bedtime routine the same at each house. While living situations change and different routines may come with that, a child is not able to easily adapt to a new routine. If you can, keep the time that your child goes to bed the same. Keeping the same familiar routine (bath, brush teeth, story, etc.) will also help your child feel secure and comfortable. 

Tip #3: Keep the same sleep environment 

Can you see a pattern here? Our goal with guiding a child through a transition from one to two bedrooms is consistency. You want to make their new circumstances as familiar to them as possible. If you’ve been around the blog for a bit, you know that I always recommend a dark sleep environment. I also recommend your child has a crib/bed of their own, their own space to sleep in. 

Helping your child through any transition can be tough. The bottom line is this: give them consistency and familiarity. When all else seems to be changing around them, a child needs to feel grounded and safe in their situation. Using these tips you can ensure that your child has the tools to walk through a transition with ease. 

I recently spoke with 2 parents whose biggest sleep struggle was co-sleeping with their 5-year old. These busy working parents were having a discussion with me about the best way to get their child sleeping all night in his own bed when he was currently sleeping in their bed from bedtime to morning. A parent had to lay down with him and they were tied to him all night. They really wanted to know how to get their kid to sleep without laying down with him.
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Dad was happy to recount fond memories of sleeping in his parents bed and how he was happy to continue letting him sleep with them. The look on mom’s face was not so inviting or happy. Both parents worked full time jobs, sometimes working from home, and both were deep into a training plan for an upcoming marathon. Mom was ready to have their bed back to themselves and get a full night of sleep.

While co-sleeping or bedsharing with a child is just one scenario, there are plenty of situations where parents could disagree when it comes to their children. You may disagree on the best way or most comfortable way to sleep train your child or how to handle sleep regressions. Whatever the situation, here are a few tips and considerations to have a meaningful conversation. 

Parents should think of how each parent feels about co-sleeping with their child and consider the other parent’s feelings on it. Have an open mind about seeing the situation from your spouse’s perspective. This will make you more receptive to coming to a decision together. 

Second, consider also the potential impacts to the family, other children, and everyone’s mental health and wellness. Will co-sleeping with one child mean that another child is always alone or doesn’t get as much time with mom/dad? Without having an open mindset and considering how everyone is impacted, it’s difficult to see why your opinions differ. Parent’s need to consider what is best for everyone, including both mom and dad. Thinking about these things may bring a new perspective that can change a parent's mind. 

Third, consider how well everyone is sleeping. Parenting should be a partnership! If everyone who shares the bed is getting plenty of sleep (7-9 hours for adults, 10-12 hours for kids overnight), then ok. Rock on. If one or both parents are complaining about bad sleep, it may be time to reconsider. 

Discerning how much weight each impact on the family holds can show you which opinion should prevail in your decision. Talking through the perspectives mentioned above can help parents get on the same page in moving forward with their child’s sleep habits. 
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Need a third party to help you work through the best decision for your family? Schedule a free call today with us and we’ll help you determine the best way forward. 

From Southeast to Northwest DC, moms across the city are juggling it all... work, homelife, their children and particularly, their sleep routines. And when their toddlers and babies aren't sleeping, neither are they. The toll sleep deprivation takes on a mother and her family is far reaching... everything from missed deadlines at work and trying to get a baby to nap when the virtual work-from-home meeting is starting, to having little to no time in the evening to spend with a spouse, work on house chores or just a little time alone. 

So if you're dealing with a sleep regression, popping in a binkie/pacifier multiple times per night or trying to decide which sleep training method is right for you, contact us and set up a free introductory call to ask any questions you like. 

Traveling with kids can be a thrilling and enriching experience for the whole family. While it may require some extra planning and patience, the memories and bonding opportunities created during these adventures are truly priceless.

One essential aspect of traveling with kids is preparation. Begin by researching kid-friendly destinations that offer a variety of activities suitable for different age groups. Consider destinations with interactive museums, amusement parks, or outdoor playgrounds. These places often provide opportunities for children to learn, engage and burn off excess energy. 

When it comes to packing, ensure you have all the essentials like snacks, extra clothing, and comfort items such as a favorite toy or blanket. It is also wise to bring along entertainment options like coloring books, puzzles or electronic devices for longer journeys. There's always the option of shipping yourself items from Amazon or Instacart to reduce the amount you have to pack in your suitcases, or purchasing items such as diapers once you arrive. 

Try to involve your kids in the planning process; it gives them a sense of ownership and excitement about the trip.

For travel days, sleep rules go out the window. Getting your child to sleep on the plane or in the car makes the trip go by much smoother. Hold your child, rock them…do whatever to help them sleep during travel. 

During the trip, maintain a flexible schedule that allows for breaks and downtime. If your child still naps, prioritize naps over keeping them awake all day. Kids can easily become overwhelmed or tired, so it's important to listen to their cues and adjust accordingly. Even children who don’t normally take a daily nap will appreciate the downtime in the afternoon for a bit. Incorporate regular snack breaks, rest stops, and opportunities for physical activities to keep everyone energized and happy.

Lastly, embrace the unexpected and utilize teachable moments. Traveling with kids exposes them to new cultures, traditions, and experiences. Encourage them to try new foods, interact with locals, and learn about the history and customs of the places they visit. These experiences foster their curiosity, broaden their perspectives, and create lifelong memories. Overall, traveling with kids can be challenging but immensely rewarding. By planning ahead, staying flexible, and nurturing their sense of wonder, you can create unforgettable family adventures that will be cherished for years to come.

And when you get home, get right back on your child’s sleep routine and schedule. If they had to share a room with you away from home, get your child right back into their own bed the first night back. 
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Want to know exactly what to pack for your infant or toddler? Check out our ultimate packing lists. 
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Traveling this summer and aren’t sure about your particular travel plans to make it easier? Schedule a free call with us.

It's Sleep Awareness Week, and a new report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention finds that 44% of single moms living with children under the age of 18 fall short of recommendations ​for proper sleep.

My top recommendations for single parents to get a little more restful sleep!

1. Make sure that you are getting your kids in bed early - infants, newborns, toddlers, young children, should be getting into bed some time between 7-8pm at night
2. Go to bed at the same time every. single. night - ideally, some time between 9-10pm
3. Make sure that your children have independent sleep skills!

Watch the video for WUSA9 below:

I can help with that last one! Connect with me today to see how we can optimize your kids' independent sleep, to make sure you are getting your best chance for your own much-needed rest.

​Here’s the scenario: you’ve all had a long day, you’re tired and you’re totally ready for your toddler to go to bed for the night. You do the bath, the PJs, brush teeth (maybe), read a story, sing a quick song, pick a new stuffed animal…then you go to put your toddler into their crib and your sweet child stands there and screams at the top of their lungs!

It might catch you off guard. It might be something new. You’ve entered a new phase of growth. I promise it’s normal for a toddler to scream and protest at bedtime. 

Why does my toddler scream? 

Here's what's going on: Your toddler is learning! Toddlers are learning how to do things, how to get things and what's expected of them. They want to have all the independence in the world, but have no idea what to do with it. For instance, your toddler wants to run free in a parking lot filled with cars...do you let him? Of course not! Your little one likely doesn't understand cause and effect...the same thing goes for bedtime when your toddler would rather be playing and having a good time with you than go to bed!

What do you do when your toddler screams at bedtime?

As parents, it's up to us to set limits.

We can fall all too easily into the trap of letting our child run the home. I mean, they are incredibly needy and can’t do much for themselves right? But as parents, we know what is best for our child (aka they need to sleep to function…) and we have our own sleep needs as well. Setting limits helps us to meet our own needs in addition to the needs of our child when they can’t meet those needs (or even recognize them) themselves. 

So how do we set these limits?

It can become a bit of a dance, but it all starts with a firm, predictable routine. Each night, do the same routine so it is clear to your child that bedtime is approaching and they will be sleeping soon. Taking a bath, getting into pajamas, brushing teeth, etc. are some things that can be a part of your routine. 

Here’s where the fun comes in! Since toddlers are discovering their independence, they are likely to want to gain control of every situation they can, which can be a part of the reason why they are struggling with bedtime. The key to dodging big power struggles is to give your child bit-sized bits of control throughout the evening. What do I mean? Consider this. Your child cannot choose whether or not they want to go to bed, but they can choose if they want the red blanket or the green one. See what I mean? If your child is given the chance to make age-appropriate decisions, they will feel more in control. Let them choose the bedtime story or the song you sing to them. Allow them some independence in the smaller things while standing firm in the big picture. 

Once your child feels like they have some control, it will be easier to enforce the limits you’ve set surrounding bedtime. One of these limits should be a specific set bedtime, and can also include expectations such as reading only one story, singing just one song, etc. Being firm but gentle with your child will send the message that this is a solid rule that they are expected to follow. Of course, with each child and situation, it’s important to use your own judgment. Come up with a plan. Predict what may happen before it occurs and plan out your responses. What will you say if your child cries for you to stay with them? Maybe you settle them in and tell them you’ll check in on them in 10 minutes. Maybe you remind them of what a great day they had and encourage them to think about what to do tomorrow. Maybe you let them cry for a little bit to show them you mean business before checking in on them again. Whatever you choose to do, make the expectations clear. And remember that it is only a season and you won’t be dealing with this forever!

Have you ever been trapped by an overtired toddler? Are you stuck in a rut and can’t figure out what to do next? Schedule a free call with me and I’ll help you troubleshoot!

There are three key aspects to focus on in helping your child develop healthy and effective sleep habits. When working with clients, here is what I focus on first:

1. A Regular Bedtime Routine
Little ones thrive on consistency. They look to us, the parents/caretakers, to guide them in what they should be doing and how/when/where they should be doing it. This is why it is so important to develop routines. Babies and toddlers need consistent routines to orient themselves to where they are in their day and be able to anticipate what is coming next. Creating a regular bedtime routine that begins at (relatively) the same time each night will cue your baby to the fact that it is almost time to sleep. A simple bath, pajamas, a story/song, then off to bed routine can do wonders as long as you repeat the same actions in the same order each night.. Develop your routine based on what works best for you and your child! 

2. Boundaries Around Sleep
If you’ve been around a toddler for more than 5 minutes you’ll know that they love to push boundaries. This is a completely normal developmental milestone, and it’s important for toddlers because they are looking to you to communicate to them what is allowed and what is not. To avoid frustration and confusion, it is important to set clear boundaries for our children, and sleep habits are no exception. Beginning when Baby is young, you can communicate that the expectation at bedtime is for them to sleep in their own bed. Other boundaries you can enforce could be keeping the baby in their room/bed until a certain time each morning (who wants to get up at 5am??) or making sure your toddler is staying in their bed all night. Decide on some healthy boundaries that will serve everyone in your household. 

3. Consistency and Holding Boundaries 
With both of the above tips, consistency is key. As I mentioned before, babies and toddlers look to us to orient themselves within their day and the world at large. Keeping consistent routines and boundaries allows them to know what to expect as well as how to act. This is crucial for them to be able to develop a sense of security and understand the world around them. You’ll begin to notice your toddler taking initiative when you prompt them to begin their bedtime routine. Keep it consistent and everyone will be on the same page!

What does your bedtime routine look like? What healthy boundaries have allowed your child to develop good sleep habits? ​

Bringing a new baby into the house is very likely to impact your older child’s sleep habits in one way or another, and there are two big reasons why;

1. Your toddler will likely hear the newborn’s cries and think they should help.
2. Your toddler’s wondering why he or she is no longer the center of your world and may be a bit jealous to share your attention.

The confusion of the upheaval of a once only kid household and jealousy will likely cause sort of a regression, prompting your toddler to want the ‘only kid’ attention they enjoyed previously, such as…

● Lots of requests for snuggles
● They may want to ‘act like a baby’ again
● Requesting to sleep in your bed or in your room
● Additional stalling, antics and tantrums during the bedtime routine

The biggest reason this can affect sleep is that parents start feeling guilty about the fact that they don’t have enough hands or time to be in two places at once, so they try to compensate by giving in to all those requests, and those requests frequently show up right at bedtime. You’ll likely hear everything from requests for extra stories, staying up later, laying with them, holding hands, etc. 

Parents… I totally understand. Guilt sucks. And when we feel guilty about spending so much extra effort on a new baby, we start to do anything to make sure our kiddos know they haven’t been forgotten, get extra time with us and feel all the love. 

So what’s the harm in a few more books and laying in bed with our kid to give some extra love and attention?  

“Children are as independent as you expect them to be.” ~Maria Montessori 

It’s likely this situation will happen at some point, so here’s what you do:

Keep everything around bedtime exactly as it was before the new sibling arrived; the same bedtime routine with the same limits you had before (ex: reading 2 books), sleeping in their own bed and sleeping there all night. 

Comfort and support, but don’t change the how, where and when. 

If you start changing what’s allowed around bedtime, such as adding a dance party and saying goodnight to every stuffed animal in your child’s room, it’s only going to tell your toddler that boundaries mean nothing and trust me, they’ll take 10 miles if you give an inch. 

Second, try to focus 15-20 minutes during the day where it’s just you and your toddler, one-on-one to do something together. Your kiddo will love the extra time and snuggles. 

Never apologize to yourself or your kid for setting boundaries. If the feeling of “oh no, I have to give everything” guilt starts to set in, remember that your toddler is simply working through some big emotions, which toddlers don’t know how to navigate. You are doing the best you can and holding to your boundaries to have a happy, attached and supported kiddo. You’re an awesome parent…don’t forget that. 

Within a few weeks, your whole family will have had time to adjust to the newest member of the family and you’ll find that new groove. You’ve got this!​

My six-year-old son won’t sleep in his own bed, so we have been letting him sleep with us. How can we work on moving him back to his own room? He has sensory issues and always wants to be near me.
—Jenny

Dear Jenny,
This issue of children with sensory issues not being able to sleep on their own is a common one among children who have sensory differences. Sleeping is one of the physical tasks of self-regulation and when any one or combination of a child’s sensory systems is not working efficiently or effectively, then sleep is likely to be disrupted.
One of the most common ways that sensory differences impact sleep is from what we call tactile/touch processing differences. Some children need more touch input so they can feel where they are in space (their own body awareness is poor) and other children have touch sensitivities (their sense of touch is over-responding). In both cases, having a parent close to them offers the warm, firm, pressure that helps to calm touch sensitivities OR it gives them the added feedback about their own position so they can rest and relax into sleep.

​Tired parents are desperate to get their kids to sleep. There’s a whole industry designed to help (for a fee).

​I remember when I reached my breaking point with my son’s sleep. He had faced big changes to his little life over the previous year: an interstate move, a new house, a new preschool, and the arrival of his baby sister. His routines suffered for it, and his bedtime demands had become increasingly baroque and desperate.
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If my husband or I didn’t stay in the room with him until he fell asleep, he would explode with panic. “I’m all alone and I’m only 3 years old!” he wailed through a sheet of tears and mucus. If we left the room, he hurled his body against the door like a moth thumping a porch light.

This particular night, my husband was out of town, leaving me solo with both kids. Hours since I’d gotten him in his jammies, my son was still awake and his protests were threatening to wake the baby. This risk was unacceptable.

I pulled him out of their shared bedroom and into “the big bed” with me. The lights were off but his little overtired body wouldn’t stop twitching and jerking with excitement. As his heels jabbed at my ribs (“I’m just stretching”), I directed my phone’s glow away from his face and fired off a deranged missive via online form. Christine emailed me back the next morning.

“One of the top times that I get emails from tired parents is somewhere between midnight and 2 am,” says Christine Stevens, who owns Sleep Solutions by Christine. Stevens is a certified child and infant sleep consultant, a professional who offers services to families struggling with behavioral childhood sleep problems. She is one of the growing league of such professionals around the globe, a cohort of providers who fill this need for exhausted families.

While I was checking out a few recent threads in one of my favorite Facebook groups recently, a question came up that I thought would be interesting, because of course, it asked about sleep, so I started reading the comments.

A mom asked a seemingly straightforward question; “My 14 month old won’t sleep! She’s up half the night and I can’t get her to sleep! What do I do?

What I read in the comments made my jaw hit the floor.

Not just one, but multiple moms in the comments recommended she give her kid melatonin!

I was pretty shocked.  Would you be?

Not only was this some random person with no verifiable medical training telling another exhausted, desperate, sleep deprived mom to give her toddler a pill to get her to sleep, but also no one was asking the real question about why her child wouldn’t sleep.  While a pill might be a quick fix, is it safe to give to your child, and does it fix all of your child’s sleep issues?

Melatonin is a hormone made naturally by our bodies by our brain’s pineal gland.  Sometimes known as the “sleep hormone” and it tells our bodies that it’s time to sleep.  It also helps us to regulate our body temperatures, our immune system and blood pressure. It’s available in a synthetic pill and liquid form and is almost always labeled “all natural”. It’s available over the counter here in the U.S but other countries require a prescription.

When deciding to give your child medication to help with sleep issues, such as a supplement like melatonin, take a few minutes to consider the real cause of your child’s sleep problems and ask yourself a few questions:

1) How does your child normally fall asleep? Do your child need some sort of ‘prop’ such as rocking, being held, riding in a stroller, feeding, a pacifier, swinging, etc in order to fall asleep?  For a baby or child to learn to fall asleep independently, you have to eliminate props and give your child the chance to develop their own way of falling asleep.

2) Does your child have a diagnosed medical condition? While melatonin can be helpful with certain medical issues, it’s best to talk with your child’s doctor before giving your child any medication.

3) Do you know how much to give? Whether it’s a pain reliever or any other medication, ask your child’s pediatrician if you’re not sure how much to give.

4) Do you know the side effects? There’s little science based evidence that says whether it’s good for kids or not. 

“According to Healthline.com, most studies {of the effects of melatonin use] show that melatonin is safe with little to no side effects, but the long-term effects of melatonin supplements in kids are largely unknown, and melatonin supplements are not approved for use in children by the FDA.”

While melatonin can help your child fall asleep, it won’t help your child if they’re procrastinating at bedtime, waking up and crawling into your bed at night or fix your baby’s frequent night wakings.  

So why not get to the heart of the matter if your child isn’t sleeping at night? In many cases, sleep issues in children can be more behaviorally based vs an actual medical issue.  If your child is struggling to get sleep and stay asleep all night, set up a free call with me and let’s discuss your situation.  We’ll work together to pinpoint the reason WHY your child isn’t sleeping at night and we’ll put together a plan that works for your child, tell you EXACTLY how to get them sleeping through the night.  Contact me at christine@sleepsolutionsbychristine.com to set up your free sleep support call. 

Time to Fall Back and Say Goodbye to Daylight Savings Time

According to the calendar, this weekend we’re supposed to get an extra hour of sleep as daylight savings time ends…tell that to our kids! ​

I’m here to make a confession. Yes, I’m a sleep coach but I too have rough nights of  sleep.
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It doesn’t happen often but I know how you feel. It’s 3am and you’re staring at the clock. You have a few hours before you have to get up for work and you’re worried how you’ll get through the day on so little sleep. You feel like your nights are on repeat…falling asleep but not staying asleep. Or you’re the opposite…you lay in bed and can’t seem to fall asleep no matter what you do.

So what can you do to make your nights more restful? Do these 4 things to help you drift off to sleep faster and feel more rested in the morning.
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As your baby gets older, one of the biggest questions parents have is when is their child is ready for a toddler or ‘big kid’ bed.  You may be expecting another child, your child is trying to climb out of the crib or just does not seem to ‘like’ the crib anymore.  Here are some tips to tell if your child is ready to move out of the crib.

Ask yourself why you’re considering a move out of the crib.  If you are expecting another child and you need the crib but your older child is sleeping well, then purchase another crib.  Do not change a great sleeping situation if you do not have to.  If your child is climbing or attempting to climb out of the crib, make sure the crib is lowered as far as possible.  If your child can still get out of the crib, it’s time for a big kid bed.

If you think your child just does not like the bed, take a look at what is going on leading up to bedtime.  Is your child getting too excited during play or is your toddler just testing the waters to see if he/she can push bedtime?  Make sure you know that if you put your child in a big kid bed that they understand they need to stay in bed all night.

If your child is old enough to ask for a new bed or wants to be like their friend with the big kid bed, it’s probably time to move out of the crib.

Overall, it’s best to wait until your child is closer to 3 years old before switching to a big kid bed.  Children younger than 2.5-3 years old may not grasp the concept of staying in bed all night and decide to use their new found freedom to run the house at 3am.   Your child has to be ready for a different bed, not you, in order to be successful.