It's Sleep Awareness Week, and a new report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention finds that 44% of single moms living with children under the age of 18 fall short of recommendations ​for proper sleep.

My top recommendations for single parents to get a little more restful sleep!

1. Make sure that you are getting your kids in bed early - infants, newborns, toddlers, young children, should be getting into bed some time between 7-8pm at night
2. Go to bed at the same time every. single. night - ideally, some time between 9-10pm
3. Make sure that your children have independent sleep skills!

Watch the video for WUSA9 below:

I can help with that last one! Connect with me today to see how we can optimize your kids' independent sleep, to make sure you are getting your best chance for your own much-needed rest.

​Here’s the scenario: you’ve all had a long day, you’re tired and you’re totally ready for your toddler to go to bed for the night. You do the bath, the PJs, brush teeth (maybe), read a story, sing a quick song, pick a new stuffed animal…then you go to put your toddler into their crib and your sweet child stands there and screams at the top of their lungs!

It might catch you off guard. It might be something new. You’ve entered a new phase of growth. I promise it’s normal for a toddler to scream and protest at bedtime. 

Why does my toddler scream? 

Here's what's going on: Your toddler is learning! Toddlers are learning how to do things, how to get things and what's expected of them. They want to have all the independence in the world, but have no idea what to do with it. For instance, your toddler wants to run free in a parking lot filled with cars...do you let him? Of course not! Your little one likely doesn't understand cause and effect...the same thing goes for bedtime when your toddler would rather be playing and having a good time with you than go to bed!

What do you do when your toddler screams at bedtime?

As parents, it's up to us to set limits.

We can fall all too easily into the trap of letting our child run the home. I mean, they are incredibly needy and can’t do much for themselves right? But as parents, we know what is best for our child (aka they need to sleep to function…) and we have our own sleep needs as well. Setting limits helps us to meet our own needs in addition to the needs of our child when they can’t meet those needs (or even recognize them) themselves. 

So how do we set these limits?

It can become a bit of a dance, but it all starts with a firm, predictable routine. Each night, do the same routine so it is clear to your child that bedtime is approaching and they will be sleeping soon. Taking a bath, getting into pajamas, brushing teeth, etc. are some things that can be a part of your routine. 

Here’s where the fun comes in! Since toddlers are discovering their independence, they are likely to want to gain control of every situation they can, which can be a part of the reason why they are struggling with bedtime. The key to dodging big power struggles is to give your child bit-sized bits of control throughout the evening. What do I mean? Consider this. Your child cannot choose whether or not they want to go to bed, but they can choose if they want the red blanket or the green one. See what I mean? If your child is given the chance to make age-appropriate decisions, they will feel more in control. Let them choose the bedtime story or the song you sing to them. Allow them some independence in the smaller things while standing firm in the big picture. 

Once your child feels like they have some control, it will be easier to enforce the limits you’ve set surrounding bedtime. One of these limits should be a specific set bedtime, and can also include expectations such as reading only one story, singing just one song, etc. Being firm but gentle with your child will send the message that this is a solid rule that they are expected to follow. Of course, with each child and situation, it’s important to use your own judgment. Come up with a plan. Predict what may happen before it occurs and plan out your responses. What will you say if your child cries for you to stay with them? Maybe you settle them in and tell them you’ll check in on them in 10 minutes. Maybe you remind them of what a great day they had and encourage them to think about what to do tomorrow. Maybe you let them cry for a little bit to show them you mean business before checking in on them again. Whatever you choose to do, make the expectations clear. And remember that it is only a season and you won’t be dealing with this forever!

Have you ever been trapped by an overtired toddler? Are you stuck in a rut and can’t figure out what to do next? Schedule a free call with me and I’ll help you troubleshoot!

There are three key aspects to focus on in helping your child develop healthy and effective sleep habits. When working with clients, here is what I focus on first:

1. A Regular Bedtime Routine
Little ones thrive on consistency. They look to us, the parents/caretakers, to guide them in what they should be doing and how/when/where they should be doing it. This is why it is so important to develop routines. Babies and toddlers need consistent routines to orient themselves to where they are in their day and be able to anticipate what is coming next. Creating a regular bedtime routine that begins at (relatively) the same time each night will cue your baby to the fact that it is almost time to sleep. A simple bath, pajamas, a story/song, then off to bed routine can do wonders as long as you repeat the same actions in the same order each night.. Develop your routine based on what works best for you and your child! 

2. Boundaries Around Sleep
If you’ve been around a toddler for more than 5 minutes you’ll know that they love to push boundaries. This is a completely normal developmental milestone, and it’s important for toddlers because they are looking to you to communicate to them what is allowed and what is not. To avoid frustration and confusion, it is important to set clear boundaries for our children, and sleep habits are no exception. Beginning when Baby is young, you can communicate that the expectation at bedtime is for them to sleep in their own bed. Other boundaries you can enforce could be keeping the baby in their room/bed until a certain time each morning (who wants to get up at 5am??) or making sure your toddler is staying in their bed all night. Decide on some healthy boundaries that will serve everyone in your household. 

3. Consistency and Holding Boundaries 
With both of the above tips, consistency is key. As I mentioned before, babies and toddlers look to us to orient themselves within their day and the world at large. Keeping consistent routines and boundaries allows them to know what to expect as well as how to act. This is crucial for them to be able to develop a sense of security and understand the world around them. You’ll begin to notice your toddler taking initiative when you prompt them to begin their bedtime routine. Keep it consistent and everyone will be on the same page!

What does your bedtime routine look like? What healthy boundaries have allowed your child to develop good sleep habits? ​

Bringing a new baby into the house is very likely to impact your older child’s sleep habits in one way or another, and there are two big reasons why;

1. Your toddler will likely hear the newborn’s cries and think they should help.
2. Your toddler’s wondering why he or she is no longer the center of your world and may be a bit jealous to share your attention.

The confusion of the upheaval of a once only kid household and jealousy will likely cause sort of a regression, prompting your toddler to want the ‘only kid’ attention they enjoyed previously, such as…

● Lots of requests for snuggles
● They may want to ‘act like a baby’ again
● Requesting to sleep in your bed or in your room
● Additional stalling, antics and tantrums during the bedtime routine

The biggest reason this can affect sleep is that parents start feeling guilty about the fact that they don’t have enough hands or time to be in two places at once, so they try to compensate by giving in to all those requests, and those requests frequently show up right at bedtime. You’ll likely hear everything from requests for extra stories, staying up later, laying with them, holding hands, etc. 

Parents… I totally understand. Guilt sucks. And when we feel guilty about spending so much extra effort on a new baby, we start to do anything to make sure our kiddos know they haven’t been forgotten, get extra time with us and feel all the love. 

So what’s the harm in a few more books and laying in bed with our kid to give some extra love and attention?  

“Children are as independent as you expect them to be.” ~Maria Montessori 

It’s likely this situation will happen at some point, so here’s what you do:

Keep everything around bedtime exactly as it was before the new sibling arrived; the same bedtime routine with the same limits you had before (ex: reading 2 books), sleeping in their own bed and sleeping there all night. 

Comfort and support, but don’t change the how, where and when. 

If you start changing what’s allowed around bedtime, such as adding a dance party and saying goodnight to every stuffed animal in your child’s room, it’s only going to tell your toddler that boundaries mean nothing and trust me, they’ll take 10 miles if you give an inch. 

Second, try to focus 15-20 minutes during the day where it’s just you and your toddler, one-on-one to do something together. Your kiddo will love the extra time and snuggles. 

Never apologize to yourself or your kid for setting boundaries. If the feeling of “oh no, I have to give everything” guilt starts to set in, remember that your toddler is simply working through some big emotions, which toddlers don’t know how to navigate. You are doing the best you can and holding to your boundaries to have a happy, attached and supported kiddo. You’re an awesome parent…don’t forget that. 

Within a few weeks, your whole family will have had time to adjust to the newest member of the family and you’ll find that new groove. You’ve got this!​

My six-year-old son won’t sleep in his own bed, so we have been letting him sleep with us. How can we work on moving him back to his own room? He has sensory issues and always wants to be near me.
—Jenny

Dear Jenny,
This issue of children with sensory issues not being able to sleep on their own is a common one among children who have sensory differences. Sleeping is one of the physical tasks of self-regulation and when any one or combination of a child’s sensory systems is not working efficiently or effectively, then sleep is likely to be disrupted.
One of the most common ways that sensory differences impact sleep is from what we call tactile/touch processing differences. Some children need more touch input so they can feel where they are in space (their own body awareness is poor) and other children have touch sensitivities (their sense of touch is over-responding). In both cases, having a parent close to them offers the warm, firm, pressure that helps to calm touch sensitivities OR it gives them the added feedback about their own position so they can rest and relax into sleep.

While I was checking out a few recent threads in one of my favorite Facebook groups recently, a question came up that I thought would be interesting, because of course, it asked about sleep, so I started reading the comments.

A mom asked a seemingly straightforward question; “My 14 month old won’t sleep! She’s up half the night and I can’t get her to sleep! What do I do?

What I read in the comments made my jaw hit the floor.

Not just one, but multiple moms in the comments recommended she give her kid melatonin!

I was pretty shocked.  Would you be?

Not only was this some random person with no verifiable medical training telling another exhausted, desperate, sleep deprived mom to give her toddler a pill to get her to sleep, but also no one was asking the real question about why her child wouldn’t sleep.  While a pill might be a quick fix, is it safe to give to your child, and does it fix all of your child’s sleep issues?

Melatonin is a hormone made naturally by our bodies by our brain’s pineal gland.  Sometimes known as the “sleep hormone” and it tells our bodies that it’s time to sleep.  It also helps us to regulate our body temperatures, our immune system and blood pressure. It’s available in a synthetic pill and liquid form and is almost always labeled “all natural”. It’s available over the counter here in the U.S but other countries require a prescription.

When deciding to give your child medication to help with sleep issues, such as a supplement like melatonin, take a few minutes to consider the real cause of your child’s sleep problems and ask yourself a few questions:

1) How does your child normally fall asleep? Do your child need some sort of ‘prop’ such as rocking, being held, riding in a stroller, feeding, a pacifier, swinging, etc in order to fall asleep?  For a baby or child to learn to fall asleep independently, you have to eliminate props and give your child the chance to develop their own way of falling asleep.

2) Does your child have a diagnosed medical condition? While melatonin can be helpful with certain medical issues, it’s best to talk with your child’s doctor before giving your child any medication.

3) Do you know how much to give? Whether it’s a pain reliever or any other medication, ask your child’s pediatrician if you’re not sure how much to give.

4) Do you know the side effects? There’s little science based evidence that says whether it’s good for kids or not. 

“According to Healthline.com, most studies {of the effects of melatonin use] show that melatonin is safe with little to no side effects, but the long-term effects of melatonin supplements in kids are largely unknown, and melatonin supplements are not approved for use in children by the FDA.”

While melatonin can help your child fall asleep, it won’t help your child if they’re procrastinating at bedtime, waking up and crawling into your bed at night or fix your baby’s frequent night wakings.  

So why not get to the heart of the matter if your child isn’t sleeping at night? In many cases, sleep issues in children can be more behaviorally based vs an actual medical issue.  If your child is struggling to get sleep and stay asleep all night, set up a free call with me and let’s discuss your situation.  We’ll work together to pinpoint the reason WHY your child isn’t sleeping at night and we’ll put together a plan that works for your child, tell you EXACTLY how to get them sleeping through the night.  Contact me at christine@sleepsolutionsbychristine.com to set up your free sleep support call. 

Time to Fall Back and Say Goodbye to Daylight Savings Time

According to the calendar, this weekend we’re supposed to get an extra hour of sleep as daylight savings time ends…tell that to our kids! ​

I’m here to make a confession. Yes, I’m a sleep coach but I too have rough nights of  sleep.
​
It doesn’t happen often but I know how you feel. It’s 3am and you’re staring at the clock. You have a few hours before you have to get up for work and you’re worried how you’ll get through the day on so little sleep. You feel like your nights are on repeat…falling asleep but not staying asleep. Or you’re the opposite…you lay in bed and can’t seem to fall asleep no matter what you do.

So what can you do to make your nights more restful? Do these 4 things to help you drift off to sleep faster and feel more rested in the morning.
​

As your baby gets older, one of the biggest questions parents have is when is their child is ready for a toddler or ‘big kid’ bed.  You may be expecting another child, your child is trying to climb out of the crib or just does not seem to ‘like’ the crib anymore.  Here are some tips to tell if your child is ready to move out of the crib.

Ask yourself why you’re considering a move out of the crib.  If you are expecting another child and you need the crib but your older child is sleeping well, then purchase another crib.  Do not change a great sleeping situation if you do not have to.  If your child is climbing or attempting to climb out of the crib, make sure the crib is lowered as far as possible.  If your child can still get out of the crib, it’s time for a big kid bed.

If you think your child just does not like the bed, take a look at what is going on leading up to bedtime.  Is your child getting too excited during play or is your toddler just testing the waters to see if he/she can push bedtime?  Make sure you know that if you put your child in a big kid bed that they understand they need to stay in bed all night.

If your child is old enough to ask for a new bed or wants to be like their friend with the big kid bed, it’s probably time to move out of the crib.

Overall, it’s best to wait until your child is closer to 3 years old before switching to a big kid bed.  Children younger than 2.5-3 years old may not grasp the concept of staying in bed all night and decide to use their new found freedom to run the house at 3am.   Your child has to be ready for a different bed, not you, in order to be successful.